By Aidé Ríos
Translator Lucia Silva Magaña
I had read this phrase over the past few months but it wasn’t until I finally decided to get out of an abusive relationship that it made even more sense….
In the last year the idea of divorce was more recurrent in my mind, which was held back by the image of romantic love: the conception that things would get better and that our love would overcome everything, and also that it was only our second year of marriage (as if that should be something to consider). Fortunately, my self-esteem and desire to be well were stronger, which led me to ask for separation and finally a divorce.
“One marries for love and divorces for self-love.”
I had a hard time identifying and accepting the manipulation and violence I was being subjected to, I was too ashamed to admit that a woman like me was in such a situation.
A woman who, despite having financial independence and college education, endured blackmail, anger, lack of empathy, and absolutely no care from the person who had promised to love and respect her… I won’t go into further details because it’s not about him but about me and us women.
What would become of me now without my friends and feminism? I don’t dare to think about it, nor do I want to. I am very grateful for every single piece of advice that my friends, my sister, my mom, her mom, and her ex-partner gave me, for the strength they granted me, for the support when I just couldn’t take it anymore, or simply for their presence when it was the one thing I needed the most. I am deeply grateful to have escaped from a marriage that far from making me happy generated anxiety, insecurity, and deep sadness. I wish all my sisters had the same luck, I wish they always would.
Now that I am separated and in the process of divorce I feel liberated and much happier, I have recovered the peace and tranquility that I had lost these years because yes, sometimes ending a relationship is the best thing that can happen to us and in my case, it has been like that.
Once again I write again for you and you alone because, without a doubt, I believe female friends are the love of our lives.